You’d think that things concerning matters of the heart got less complicated by the day. However like any other part of civilisation, as we grow, things get complicated and complications require remedy before they cause irreparable damage or death for that matter.
You’d also think writer’s block is a thing until you have to find a fitting title…oh well.
I had the most serious lecture from one of my older cousins with a model marriage and what not. One of my faves to be honest. The realest person ever. She said a few things that had me thinking. Thinking hard enough warranted a weekend away to regroup and think about things I was obviously taking lightly. I think most when I travel. So I will digest all she said over the weekend somewhere else.
I don’t know how to write about love really. I think I’m just not expressive enough or I just lack a poetic side. I am okay with my disability, really I am. Today though I just have a few things I need to address.
Thanks to television we now have templates we can use to show affection. On which we build relationships. Whether it involves taking on Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf roles or having a mechanical and remotely sweet relationship like Christian Grey and that girl that I pray doesn’t have Kristen Stewart as a role model, we clearly have types of relationships with similar structures as the ones we see on TV. Which is fine and i hope everyone likes what they’re doing. I simply have an issue with the level of complications that come with.
I can now get into a relationship based on “I like you”. Followed by a series of gestures that don’t even show the slightest effort.
I can also be a part of something with an unrequited love situation and wait for when the other party is interested in letting me know what the deal is-like we are in an arranged marriage.
I can also participate in something for the show of it. He looks nice…im a 10- why not?
I can also subscribe to the most emotionally absent situationship but because I am too lazy to quit I keep swimming.
I can choose to be in a relationship where the reasons as to why we arent getting anywhere are so unclear its like random words coming together to come up with a reason why we arent flourishing. “I’m still taking my time you know…my last relationship yeah? So basically I dont have feelings yet because I was burned but I like you enough so let’s keep working on things!”-Are you kidding me? Tf you in a relationship for?
Thats not even half the story.
The lecture from yesterday had me thinking how short life is for me to keep indulging in the same BS without thinking through things and cutting myself some slack or allowing my friends for that matter to be held back by such madness. My cousin, with the same advice as my mother’s, has asked me to go on 20 million dates and keep a list of prospects and find the one who loves me a million times way more than I love him and myself. I am already stressed by the thought of that exercise and the multiple use of “and” but given my age and the fact that i’m looking for something constantly exciting,it doesn’t hurt to be more proactive about getting what i really want. I have never prayed more in my life for “the one” than I did yesterday. It’s all going to come down to the person handpicked by God anyway. Thankfully the Lord listens and gives some answers to my multitude of questions. The exercise doesn’t require that you go the whole 9 yards before you figure it’s not a right fit. Actually there is more you get out of people through talking. No not sexting…just talking-like normal people. And no legs in random people’s mattresses.
One of my favourite romantic movies is Crazy stupid love. When Ryan Gosling met Emma Stone and knew that it was her. Instantly. And when he knew, he knew. That clarity. I want to experience that. No I dont want to be met in an upscale bar and have the whole scene re done…the bigger picture, you know…
Thankfully I have been most social this year and have met so many people along the way. Good thing yaaay! Still trying to keep up with that because I find that people can be very draining as well and sometimes I need a lack of human interaction to recoup. It’s not a bad habit. You just don’t want to acknowledge it yet. So I’m in Nairobi for the weekend to breathe and maybe while I’m at it, meet some new people and see how that goes. I’m friends with the bus conductor called Henry. Already. I call this growth.
Have an amazing weekend and go forth into the world and meet some new people, you just might find your Jacob or at the very least make some new friends.
#np Crazy Stupid love – Cheryl Cole ♡♡