#np New York- Paloma Faith ♥♡♥
Yesterday I traversed the internet randomly looking through blogs and various articles and I perused through an article on the nurturing roles of women in society. It was a pretty good read until this PhD student identified the importance of mothering husbands. Thats when I switched off! For one to have a desirable relationship with her man, she must nurture him and help him transition from boyhood to manhood. I don’t think im about to be a Fascinating Woman if this is one way to keep the man!
Please note that this is just an opinion I have not relationship advice. I am not certified to spew advice on such things out. And you know the thing about opinions….yeah..
There is already enough to deal with already in our young lives to even consider mothering a grown ass man. I don’t want to have to hold your hand every step of the way in life only to throw you a bar mitzvah at the end. Talking to you like a child, cutting your meat up at functions, clean you up etc. I think age now starts to become a thing. He is old enough-perhaps older than me-which is usually the case unless of course im writing this from a parallel universe where I could be into college kids.
Which certainly isnt the case
This business of moulding a 30 year old boy into a man. No freakin’ way. I don’t have to panel beat my man. I need him “perfect” from the get go-you know what I mean. See my issue with panel beating, taking your time out in a day to educate him on the importance of a shower, putting away his toys, speaking politely, saving money and what not is you have to remind him like the child that he is for the next 12 years. He gets to outgrow his childishness while your beautiful hair greys and skin wrinkles because of all the yelling and extra hours you spent up in the night working out his lesson plans and monitoring his progress. He goes on to become the man every little girl in town wants and now he has to kick your 70 year old soul in a 30 year old body to the curb. You have to reward him with little treats when he does the least and always remind him brush his teeth after because you don’t want him to have cavities.
Like he doesn’t already know all of this..
He just chooses to waste your time because you have the largest heart to accept him for who he is. He could call you mama now. Do you also have his kids? Now you also have a diploma in kindergarten management for free. Is it really necessary? No thanks! I think not.
I know girls mature mentally and emotionally faster than the boys. But thats the trash reason I don’t want anyone to use as a justification for this madness. Since he wants to take on grown man roles like be the man in the relatiinship-then buy him some balls and let him figure out how he wants to do that. He is educated, has a mother, aunts, sisters-he should know how he’d want them to be treated by their significant others. He should know when its time to see the boys, when his effort is required in the house-for those who live together. He should understand the role he plays in your life and fully understand it-not just the perks of waving you about or changing his facebook relationship status. He shouldnt squeal if things don’t work out for him because he is not working hard enough. He should be able to provide and not cry about it. You wanted to do man things-be that and stop crying about. Period
We do not need Steve Harvey’s moustache explaining these simple things to us.
For all I know, Steve told us things we already know. Thank God someone emailed me the book because I wasn’t ready to spend money on obvious things. Plus any relationship advice in print form just takes the piss. I mean, you will make a guy wait 965 days to sleep with you and you will still be the “hoe that don’t get the ring” so really- let’s not lie to ourselves, everyone’s experience is tailor made. You can still marry the guy you put out for on day 1 and live happily ever after like characters in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Situations vary really you don’t need Steve to tell you to wait for the guy to open doors for you. Since he is bragging about an amazing family background and studying at the Greats then surely chivalry should be in his DNA. Life is too short to hope for the best. He is either it or he isn’t.
I don’t know what you guys think-but I wouldn’t want to waste the best years of my life being my lover’s mother. That would just make me cold. I’d die the day I realise that that’s my fate.
Ok now I’m done ranting about the silly things I find on the internet.
Have a beautiful week