To Reinvention.

Time check: 5 51am

My Godmother wakes me up at that time. I don’t know why it won’t be 5: 50 or 6am. It’s always 5 51am. Either way, I wake up looking like I chewed aloe vera at 5 49am. Please note that she wakes me up when she is 87.8% done with her morning routine. Me? I have about 15 minutes to get ready after which we shall say our 10 Hail Marys and hope that the day bangs- in a good way.

I get to work like I open the gates to Rwenzori courts and greet the scanty number of people I can find. It’s always the petulant security guard who takes 2 days to open the gate, the lady that cleans the bathrooms on 3rd floor and the office courier-nice guy that one, and he has a little girl called Anna so as you can imagine we’re really up there in that bonding business.

Usual routine? get a Tedtalk, get my tasks done, remember I haven’t had breakfast but it’s 12 20pm so I can’t lament, have lunch, get tasks done, read 2 chapters of whatever book is on the reading list, create playlists (even though DJ Chapat mixes have saved me for life), crack a few jokes, go home or wherever else I plan to go. I’m sorry- none of that must sound eventful but that’s that.

What happens when the routine is done with? I think. I think about my contribution on this lovely planet. I think about my friends and what they could possibly be up to and sometimes I text them. I need to be in a mood to text lest messages get a reply a week later-even though I didn’t mean to act that way but people never get that anyway. I think about my life 10 years from now. I think about my childhood. I scroll through Twitter and Facebook aaaaand I lock the phone because it is either too bloody hilarious or a load of bile and then I think about myself and I think about my contribution to this lovely planet and to be honest, I know I have done a few good things for the people and that must be noted somewhere in heaven. But I don’t reckon that it’s enough. Like Mother Theresa enough or Pope JP the second enough.

I have reinvented myself over a million times and it is hectic finding out that you just moved off track. It really is because you start to wonder whether you’ll get it right the 1,000,0001th time so that’s where I am at right now. I don’t want to get anxious about it though because I have enough on my plate.

Accepting that I will reinvent myself again has made all the difference though. I have accepted that I am a spendthrift who sometimes misuses my savings. I say things like “Life is too short to forego this and that”- and then wonder why life treats good people the way it does.

I have accepted that I know nothing really and there is a ton out there to learn. Listen guys, a first class is nothing to make noise about. You know nothing and you will learn things till your last day on this earth.

I have accepted that sometimes my spirituality dips to lows I didn’t even know. I have accepted that I am not ever going to be perfect.

I have accepted that hair breaks, even when you moisturise and be very extra about it-it breaks and grows back, no need to cry.

I have accepted that I can never be friends with certain individuals and I have appreciated the good times and will keep them with me. I have accepted that I will fail when I do not need to fail and that I will annoy people I don’t need to annoy. That I will be a terrible friend sometimes and I will not be able to give two shits when I need to.

I have accepted that I shut myself off momentarily and will not be mad at anyone that gets agitated when that happens. I have also accepted that I can be pretty likeable and remember the words of my friend who said “I am very easy to fall in love with”. I say that in 2016 because I see it now yet I am pretty sure that we had this conversation in say 2010 and is moulding as we speak.

I have accepted that I have dark humour and very inappropriate jokes and I genuinely see myself applying to go onto SNL at some point in this great life.

I have accepted that I don’t have the greatest speech for those in trying times- but I can sit around and crack jokes if you like- I am that girl who will have a few people laugh crying at a funeral because “sorry” is such an awkward thing to say sometimes.

I have accepted that I am not the best with cocktails so I might tag along with all my cocktail loving friends and drink water all night-I am still going to have the time of my life so let the coercion end before it begins.

I have accepted that I am human and that means I should be open to correction and constructive criticism. So yeah- I invite that into my life now way more than I did in the last 24 years of my life whether it is people I know, or not, I take it all in good faith.

I have accepted that I am a human being on a path of greatness!

x

Anna

 

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